A Poem

I decided to revisit my fifth grade gifted and talented class days and try my hand at poetry again. I call this “Sketch of a Typical Morning in the J Household”. Just a rough draft, nothing serious. I’m not liking the way WordPress adds a whole giant space every time I go to the next line, but whatryagonnado…

[Dreaming]

Hubby and I walking through Central Park

What is that ruffling sound?

Zzzzzzzz

Is hubby crinkling a plastic bag?

Zzzzz

Tap tap click clack

Is that a train approaching?

[Roll over]

[Yawn]

*Giggle

That doesn’t sound like hubby

Heavy weight on my body

Something squishing my cheeks together

[beautiful dream fading]

*Giggle

That’s not hubby.

Eyes flutter, open halfway

I look to my right. It’s Y.

Up at 6:30

the usual.

Busy as a bee arranging blocks in a line and shuffling papers

Better get up before she gets to the fridge

She always does.

Come on, Diane, you can do it

Up, up, up!

….

Outta bed sleepy head!

….

Where’s mom with that annoying Time to Get Up song when you need her?

Ughhhhh

Why do I NEVER feel like I had enough sleep…

Oh I know. Probably because each child generally wakes up at least twice…so I really DON’T get enough sleep…

And now I’m pregnant….

Woe is me… Ok enough of the pity party

[Finally extracts self out of bed as slowly as humanly possible]

Let’s see the mess she’s caused so far

Ok, not too bad, only three toy baskets overturned.

At least all the food is still in the fridge. Let’s count our blessings

“Y, let’s go into the other room for a few minutes until big brother wakes up” (maybe mommy can even steal another few winks…)

10 minutes later (or 15? Who can tell)

*Footsteps

That’ll be him!

“Morning, darling”

*big hug

Time to start the day

Any legit poets out there, I’m open to constructive criticism, but be gentle please! I’m rusty after…17 years ūüėČ

My Squishy

No, I’m not about to start talking about Finding Nemo! Although I do really want to watch¬†the new one that just came out. Those of you who watched Finding Dory, tell me, DO they find Dory?! I certainly hope so because she is hysterical and she would be sorely missed.

When I say my Squishy, I am referring to my 21 month old baby girl. Y¬†is growing like a weed! She moves faster, talks faster (the little slurred phrases she pieces together are so adorable! My favorite in Korean is Ana joh meaning “hold me” and in English¬†I cannot do it!), learns faster. Everything is faster! I think sometimes she just has to keep up with her brother (or rather just plain survive living with her brother). She’s already scrubbing herself in the tub, trying to use the potty, feeding herself with her fork and spoon (though she still has a pretty sad food in mouth to food on floor ratio because she gets bored. Maybe I should start being strict about that one).

Compared to her brother, this girl can be super loud! She squeals at the top of her lungs when she wants something (generally some type of snack), when her brother chases her around trying to take things from her, or when he’s just being whatever type of irritating he can think up. I’d like to think they will balance each other out as they grow up. I don’t want an overly mischievous and aggressive boy for a son, but I also don’t want an overly sensitive, timid girl for a daughter.

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Baby girl is playful as ever. She has a million new faces and a million new dance moves. She loves to snuggle. Lying on top of and rolling all over Appa, and rotating and smushing her face against mine are some of her favorite pastimes. And I can’t get enough of it! Of COURSE she has her annoying, fussy, demanding and whiny¬†moments, but all in all, she is a breath of fresh air.¬†The way she bursts into a ball of giggles, holds my hand and urgently pulls me around, crinkles up her brow and pouts when she doesn’t get her way, and jumps up and down flailing her arms when I’m handing her a sweet, all have the power to transform my day.

Do you ever hold on to your warm, squishy, sweet smelling, perfect¬†child for many moments longer than you intended, not because she is complaining and unable to fall asleep, but because you can’t bring yourself to let go of that cozy, heavenly feeling? Not to show off, but I would say¬†I did a pretty good job sleep training Y¬†(gently, gradually, but methodically) and she has been settling down very easily for naps and bedtime for as long as I can remember (hiccups here and there, but they always subsided), so she really doesn’t need more than 5 minutes of cuddles¬†before she can be placed in her crib, but sometimes I just keep carrying¬†her anyway. I say heck with the regressions, I’m gonna hold my baby! And I rock her and sing to her and stroke her hair and kiss her cheeks.

Sometimes these early years feel like they’re going to last forever, but before we know it, they will be gone.¬†Soak in every moment!

Oops

Oh, heeeeeeey guys…….

Whatdya know – Thursday came and went and then Friday came and went and…I completely forgot to write!

To those of you who missed meals and stayed up all night worrying about why I didn’t write and what on earth had become of me, my sincerest apologies! Rest assured; everything is a-ok. Just got a little busy/absent-minded.

Life is going well. We are chugging right along. T is playing nice with his friends at school and also doing much better with his sister at home. Their friendship is blossoming as she becomes more and more active and (attempts to be) verbal. She is googoogagaing and oobeedoobeeing her heart out and it is just the cutest thing; I go right along with her and act as if I know just exactly what she is talking about. You know the lines: “Oh, is that so?”, “Ya don’t say?”, “How fascinating!”

Just today, the offspring were having the time of their lives playing and laughing in the tub. Amazing what a bunch of running water and bubbles can do. It gives me the warm fuzzies to see them getting along. After their bath, as we were getting ready for bed, Brother toted Sister around here and there and they exchanged 8 or 10 hugs.

Ooh! I should mention we¬†had a nice little lunch out with Shin Haraboji (Paternal Grandfather in Korean) and Appa (Father) today. Port of Call buffet in Hackensack. Delicious. If you live in NJ and haven’t checked it out, put it on your list! And no, they have not paid me to tell you that.

Apologies again for being scatterbrained. Will be back on schedule next week! A fabulous weekend to you! Ta ta!

My Giggly Wiggly Girl

My little angel baby who is no longer sleeping through the night and who now naps at a much more inconvenient time for me¬†is doing well otherwise. She’s teething up a storm and just starting to get the sniffles again, but this Winter hasn’t been too bad in terms of sickness around here. So, I’m grateful.

I weaned 1 year old¬†by the first week of December. Partially because I didn’t want to wait too long and find myself with a super attached baby. She was still quite easy going at 13 and a half months old. If I took something away from her, she might have whined or cried a bit, but didn’t usually throw a fit and demand it back. I decided I should start the process before she took on a new personality (which she now has!)!¬†As our little ones grow and learn over time, they become increasingly more aware of their surroundings; of¬†their capabilities and their desires. I wasn’t sure when the time would come that she would decide she was very much in love with nursing and was not about to stop. The other reason was that I felt the need to “prove my midwife wrong”. I seem to have a little bit of a competitive, prideful side to¬†me… She asked me when I weaned Big Brother¬†and I said 14 months, but that I planned to wean Little Sister¬†around 12. She followed with a smile, “You will probably end up weaning her¬†at 16 months, because on average women end up weaning their consecutive children later.” Of course she didn’t MEAN to insult me at all or to challenge my resolve as a mother, but my new-found need to defend and prove myself which began when I became a mother reared its flustered head. And so, there you have it! I took the bull by the horns and patiently, gradually weaned my little cutie. She’s on to regular milk now (all varieties: mostly almond and cow’s but occasionally also rice, cashew, or soy. I like the idea of a nice balance.)

I hope that this doesn’t come off as judgmental of women who breastfeed past the first year. Whatever works for you and your baby, mama! I am in full support of breastfeeding well into the 2nd or 3rd year if that’s what makes you both happy! For my daughter and I, 12 months old felt right and went rather painlessly. And added bonus: I’m happily back to a normal wardrobe, instead of being limited to the clothes that have the proper snaps and clips and ties and layers. I can wear dresses that don’t require special functions of pulling up or pulling down! #breastfeedingproblems

My little Squishy is growing up! She’s already less squishy than she used to be… Her¬†character is changing as she gets older and discovers more about herself and the world. But she’s as adored and treasured as ever. I love that she truly wears her heart on her sleeve. You can read on her face exactly how she feels. It’s clear as day. This girl loves to eat, and as she whimpers up at you and points to something yummy on the counter, her face is slightly contorted and desperate. As soon as you hand her said item, she transforms into a glowing, giddy ball of smiles and giggles in half a second flat.

Side note: As I write this, Little Darling is literally playing with matches… *familiar exasperated sigh of a mother* Off to save lives yet again! ūüôā