7/28/17 10:30 am
Pregnancy is crazy. Emotional. Enlightening. Brutal.
But then again, is this very much different from life in general?
I stumbled upon a video on Facebook recently that really spoke to me and reminded me of our real purpose in life. We’re not meant to do this alone. We’re meant to depend on each other, and most importantly on God.
I try not to get too religious or preachy in my blog, but this is so close to my heart right now that I had to share it. One thing I would add on from my own personal beliefs is that we do have to take action and fulfill our “portion of responsibility” (Divine Principle, Sun Myung Moon), but from there, we have to have total faith that God will step in and bring us where we need to go; He will make possible whatever is the best outcome for us in any given situation.
Back to my pregnancy – I’m due on Monday, so I have about 3 days. My son was born 6 days early and then my daughter was born 1 day early. Up until two days ago or so, I was obsessing over when this baby is coming and if I should do anything to help speed him along (not talking induction yet, but through “at home” methods of ripening). I’m not even sure why I felt such an urge for him to arrive faster. I guess something to do with getting more and more uncomfortable and stretched out and therefore being too impatient and harsh with my two children at home (the ones outside my belly). But then I had this realization. Why am I trying to rush things? This baby will come when he’s good and ready. I think God purposely made it impossible for a woman to know exactly when she will go into labor (medical interventions aside) as a reminder that we can’t control everything in our lives, and we shouldn’t want to. Some things are better left up to God, Nature, the Universe, whatever you like to call it. In fact, it’s incredibly refreshing to give up some of the pressure and expectation that you put on yourself to control everything; to make sure everything “goes right” (as if you always really know what’s right). Sometimes, things just won’t “go right”, and that’s okay. Life is in its entirety a learning process. We’re not meant to “solve” it or “win” as if it’s a game, but just to live every day learning and growing and bettering ourselves one experience at a time. And in turn, helping others.
7/30/17 1:30 pm
So, if you read the time stamp up there, you’ll see that I wrote that bit a couple days ago. I had it saved as a draft. That same day, at 2:20 pm, my water broke, kick starting my labor, and my beautiful baby boy was born 3 1/2 hours later.
What are the chances!
Anyway, here I am now in my cozy little room. My hospital stay has been lovely – as it always is. As a mom, it’s incredibly refreshing to be able to lounge around watching TV and ordering room service (albeit in the pain of recovering from childbirth) in peace and quiet and have someone ELSE wait on YOUR hand and foot for a change!
I’m basking in the glow of newbornness. His smell, his gentle sighs, the little quivers of his body and pouts of his tiny lips.
The wait is over! He came on his own time. Perfect, perfect timing.