Note to (Future) Self

Becoming a mom has been the single biggest emotional, physical, and spiritual change I have encountered thus far in my 26 years.

I never anticipated how I would feel, think, and live as a new mother. As my children get older and mommyhood becomes more familiar, and my children and I all grow and change, I expect I’ll start to forget just what it felt like in the beginning. So, here’s a little reminder to myself. Written through the eyes of a new mother, a chronicle, a confession, a plea, if you will, in the form of a letter. I hope that it will help me many years from now to put myself back in the shoes of the new mother (maybe most importantly my future daughter in law? I have a sneaky feeling I’m going to be one of those mothers that feels like no one could ever be good enough for her son…) and offer only understanding and support.

Dear onlooker/bystander/acquaintance/friend/dearest loved one,

I very recently became a mother. My life completely and absolutely changed over night. I am now responsible for a life other than my own. This is all so new and foreign to me. I’m flooded with doubt, worry, and fear, along with love, joy, and gratitude, not to mention pure exhaustion. I love this child more than life itself. I want so very much to be a good mother. I want to make the right choices and do what is best for my child. I am trying so hard.

Please don’t judge me. Share your thoughts and advice and what worked for you, but in the end, let me make my own decisions for myself and my child. Don’t make me feel like you know it all and I know nothing.

Please trust me. Don’t make me feel ignorant and incapable and magnify the uncertainties that I already have. Be gentle.

Give me a break. Allow me to relax. I am so tired. Hold my baby for a while (better yet, get him to sleep!), wash the dishes, make me breakfast. Offer a helping hand (mind you a non-critical, non-judgmental hand) every chance you get.

Reassure me. I need now more than ever kind, reassuring words, prayers, substantial help, and unconditional love. (Partner: Show me that you value me and that you appreciate me. Tell me I’m beautiful, I’m doing great, and you believe in me. Tell me you love me.)

Overall, whether you know me a little or you know me a lot, simply support me, help me, and love me. I am doing the best I can.

Still getting the hang of this,

New Mommy

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