Bad A** Mom Skills

I thought I’d share a few of the thoroughly impressive skills I’ve acquired since becoming a mom. Maybe this will encourage some of the ladies out there who are not really looking forward to the morning sickness and bloating pre baby and then the constant messiness and noise post baby. There are some redeeming factors!

1. I am an excellent multitasker. I can walk, chew gum, and talk on the phone all the while changing one child’s diaper and picking food out of the other child’s hair.

2. I can function (albeit just barely) on little to no sleep. Thankfully, this skill hasn’t been needed recently as both my children are sleeping pretty well through the night by now (thank the Lord).

3. I have a superhuman, acute sense of hearing and my eyes pop open at the slightest whimper of my baby next door. Heck, sometimes my eyes pop open when I dream about a baby crying.

4. I know the names of way more Transformer characters than a grown woman should and can transform each of my son’s toys in 5 seconds flat.

5. I’ve gotten really good at feeling around and finding things in the dark (including my phone, which I pretty much have to find every single night). In fact, I’m really good at finding stuff in general. Like Ninja status. More often than not, I can spend 5 minutes sifting through the 3 or 4 bins and boxes we always have lying around in each room and find precisely the right weapon or ball or whatever other gadget my son is looking for. One time, I found my daughter’s hair clip in our hotel room trash can. I scoured the room (flipped all the sheets and blankets) to no avail, so I took desperate measures. I am NOT losing another one of those.

6. I have finally, finally, finally learned how to be patient. I mean truly patient. My kids have tested me in ways I never thought I’d have to endure and pushed buttons I never knew I had…all at the same time. With help from friends, family, the Internet, and the good Lord, I have pretty much gotten to the point where I can go the majority of my days without having a meltdown (of my own. My son’s – those are another story).

7. I have pretty impressive upper arm strength. Mostly from carrying one squirmer or the other or both for extended periods of time. (Now, back to working on my pelvic floor! Blah)

8. In a similar vein, I’ve developed pretty kick a** reflexes! (I sure needed this as a teen when I awkwardly fumbled through any and every sport I attempted) I’ve had to catch tripping/falling/flying children so many times that it is second nature to me. I save them at lightning speed and I can almost subconsciously predict exactly when and in which direction they are headed.

9. I have eyes in the back of my head (of course 😉 you mamas know what I’m talking about)

10. I love with a love that only mothers have. There is something completely unique about a mother’s love for her children: selfless, unconditional, and with the power to change the world. (Don’t you forget it, mamas!) P.S. I’m sure a father’s love (which I could never personally fully understand since I’m not a father) is just as incredible

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