Modern Day Kids…

6 year old daughter: Umma, can you play with me with my Barbie Dream House?

Umma tries and fails because the boys try to join and upset daughter.

Daughter screaming: Umma can you play with me!!

Umma: Y, I’m trying to play with you, but the problem is that both of your brothers are trying to play, too, and you don’t want them to. You’re screaming and whining. So, now, in order for you to play with your Dream House, I have to occupy the boys and keep them away from you. I’m the only one here. I only have one body and now I’m using it to be with the boys. You can play by yourself.

Daughter: Why don’t you just hire someone?!

Hahahahaha I never saw that one coming… She presents a perfectly valid option I admit.

Share some funny kid quotes with me! And have a beautiful day 😊

More Confessions of a Tired Mom

This post is a follow up to my first Confessions of a Tired Mom post which you can find here if you’re interested! 

A few more things I never imagined I’d say. Cheers to my 3 kiddos for gracing me with all these choice memories… 

1. I’ve wiped my kids’ snot on my shirt more times than I can count.

2. I’ve wiped my own snot on my shirt one too many times…

3. I’ve wiped (goodness, parenting is just FULL of wiping, isn’t it??) spaghetti sauce, cheese sauce, smashed ants, cereal crumbs, rice, bacon grease, and a plethora of other delightful substances on whatever t-shirt I was wearing at the time. Who has time to go rummaging around for tissues?!

4. Occasionally, I will reply an enthusiastic “uh huh” to an offspring even if I haven’t heard the question…

5. I’ve absentmindedly licked what I thought was chocolate off my finger only to find the taste unexpectedly unpleasant and bitter… so I replayed my morning trying to figure out what brown food I had eaten that morning and nearly had a heart attack when I realized all I had done that morning was… changed my daughter’s diaper… #cringe

6. I have finished off an entire tub of ice cream (I would like to say this was when I was pregnant, but it wasn’t) because you can’t just leave these things out in a home full of children! We can’t have them getting into it, now can we? This stuff isn’t healthy for them! I’ll sacrifice for them; anything for the children.

7. I often allow my children to make a total mess (mess is play and play is learning, right? Trust me; I’m a teacher. *wink emoji*) of my old miscellaneous notebooks, jewelry, address labels, etc because I actually consider it being put to good use. After all, it’s just been sitting around collecting dust for 10 years. If they enjoy it and get something out of it, more power to them! Also, if it keeps them quiet for 10 minutes…

8. I’ve turned over on my pillow to look the other way while my children helped themselves to fruit gummies for breakfast.

9. I have transferred sleeping kids from the car straight into the bed- dirty clothes, unbrushed teeth, unwashed hands (First thing in the morning, I swear! I know- Corona!) and all… “Don’t wake a sleeping child” is a cardinal rule for me… Who wants to go through the whole routine and get them back down again at 11 pm??

10. At long last, I have finally become a frozen food mom… I held out for a reeeeeally long time and I’m so proud! But, those days are over…

11. Also become a bottled water mom… despite my son’s teacher’s disapproving comments (sorry! These little short cuts make all the difference!)

12. I’ve swooped in and caught my daughter’s poop in my hand in the nick of time! Ughhhhh potty training is the worst. (I’m on number 3 now; never had the chance to intentionally catch this one’s poop, but he has so kindly handed me a warm, fresh turd a couple times himself! *hand over face emoji*)

13. Sometimes, I lock myself in the bathroom just to eat chocolate or check my texts in peace for 5 minutes.

14. I’ve looked the other way while my children flooded the bathroom during bath time because at least they were having fun and getting along… Thought to myself, Eh, I have fifteen towels I can use when they’re done.

15. Speaking of towels, I have thrown a towel over a pee accident in the middle of the night and went back to bed. I’ll deal with it in the morning… Out of sight, out of mind, right? 

16. I will occasionally give in to pleads for a THIRD ice cream in order to keep my kids quiet for 10 more minutes while I finish an important call (like with my best friend to recount the details of last night’s episode of… just kidding! Work calls.)

17. When I’m exceptionally tired, instead of doing actual cleaning, I’ll just shove all the toys to the sides of the room to make space for the bedding (we sleep on the floor because we’re Korean). 

18. I count reeeeeeeally slowly during Hide-and-Seek, then go for about 3 minutes shouting, “Not here… oh, not here… hm, let me see…” while I lean on my counter and continue eating chocolate and checking my texts for 5 more glorious minutes. Or, sometimes, I even squeeze in a power nap!

19. Occasionally,  I will leave the wet clothes out of the washer in the basket over night because I don’t have the energy to hang it all.

Ok, this is taking a turn for the worse, so I think I should stop here! I hope this brought out a few knowing nods and chuckles and that no one will report me to anyone.

Comment if you can relate to any! Good night!

9 Instances that Illustrate Me as a Mom

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You may or may not have noticed (if you even remember who I am being that I post once every few months now… *ashamed face*) that I’m a no frills mom, so to speak. I am usually sleep deprived, stiff, sore, late, AND anxious or stressed about something. Despite all this, I’m actually very happy, but here are a few examples that I think paint a pretty accurate picture of my momming style. Completely technical and scientifically based of course. Hope they bring a giggle or two.

1. Kids: Can we go to the park?

Mom: No, it’s too late.

Kids: Pllllleeeeeeease, please can we go!!

Mom: No, it’s too cold.

Kids: Buuuut Uuuummmmaaaaaaaaa, we wanna go to the park!!!! We wanna we wanna we wanna we wanna!!!!

Mom: looks in their cute little faces and feels bad about yelling at them the day before. And justifies by thinking kids need fresh air and to get their energy out. “Alright, let’s do it!” Has a blast.

2. Dinnertime

Daughter: I don’t want that pizza! I only like pepperoni pizza!

Son: I want that pizza! Umma, can you make pizza?

Mom: Listen, I’m not making two different meals for you guys.

Daughter: Can I have a sandwich?

Mom: No. We’re having pizza.

Daughter: whining, wailing

Mom: screaming in exasperation

Toddler: running around in circles singing the ABCs and barking like a dog

Mom: Sigh, and what in the heck will HE eat?! *starts to tear up*

Son and daughter: arguing

Mom: yelling that Umma works so hard and does so much for you guys; please just be grateful and don’t give her even more extra work to do!!!

Mom: proceeds to make cheese pizza, turkey sandwiches, corn, rice balls, and some spaghetti just in case….

3.    — at an outdoor bazaar–

Friendly, well meaning vendor: Hello! Here is our selection of childrens’ socks! Are you looking for boy’s or girl’s?

Me: Boy’s. My daughter will just use his when he grows out of them.

Nice lady: Ok! What does he like? We have Spiderman, Paw Patrol, Ninja Turtles…

Me: Oh we’re not picky.

Nice lady: Any particular colors?

Me: I’d really like just a bunch of the same – like 20 of the same exact sock. No colors or shapes is fine. Actually, black is good. That way the stains don’t show. The short kind that he can pull on and off himself.

Nice lady: Here you go!

Me: Perfect, thanks!

4. Mom: Please do two things for me, Y. Pick up the books and put them in the shelves and pick up the toys and put them in the toy closet – anywhere in the closet is fine.

Daughter: No

Mom: Takes 3 deep breaths. Y, don’t say “No” to me. Have some respect.

Daughter: I don’t wanna clean. I’m too tired. Groans and lies on the floor dramatically.

Mom: I’m tired too! Groans and lies on the floor dramatically.

5. Mom: Brush your teeth and change into your PJs

Kid: Ok. Continues playing.

Mom, 5 minutes later: Brush your teeth and change your clothes.

Kid: Nothing. Oblivious.

Mom, 5 minutes later: Brush your teeth and change.

Kid: Completely absorbed in everything on the planet besides getting ready for bed. 100% distracted.

Mom, 5 minutes later: Incentive 1, incentive 2, incentive 3. Followed by threat 1, threat 2, threat 3.

Kid: Still not changed

Mom: THAT’S IT!!! LIGHTS OUT!!! GOOD NIGHT!!! (slams door) *guilty emoji* Not proud…

6. Daughter: I wanna wear this sparkly skirt to school today!

Mom: Ok.

Daughter: And I wanna wear these blue pants and rainbow shirt!

Mom: Sure!

Daughter: And I wanna wear this strawberry hat and these green sunglasses and yellow boots, and this hat too!

Mom: You’re so funny. Go for it!

7. Child: Umma, look at this! Does something he thinks is super cool.

Mom: Wow, that’s awesome!

Child, 1 minute later: Umma, look at this! Does something he thinks is even cooler.

Mom: What!! How did you do that?! *beams with pride*

Child, 1 minute later: Umma, umma, look! Does something really similar that he thinks is completely different.

Mom: watches patiently, gasps! That is so cool! You’re doing so great!

8. One of the kids: Umma, can I -insert something ridiculously messy like “see if I can crack this egg in one hand cause some show said it was impossible” or “make my own bubble soap and blow messy bubbles all over the dining room, soaking the entire table and floor” or “build a giant fort out of every last pillow, sheet, blanket, chair and basically anything else movable”?

Mom: …

Sigh…

Yes, for science.

9. Daughter: being difficult

Mom: You know what, Y, no matter what you do, ever, I always love you. I get so mad at you when you don’t cooperate, but I will always love you so, so much no matter what. I love you guys more than anything in the world!

Daughter: snuggles. Yeah, you’re always gonna love me right? Smiles. I love you super duper guper much!!

A wise friend of mine once said, “They put up with me more than I put up with them.” Thanks, darlings, for blessing me with the opportunity to be your imperfect mom.

Obligatory Quarantine Post

Damn, look at us.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep this light. A lot of people online have been really good at it. I appreciate them. We do all need a good laugh right now. Shameless plug for Jimmy Fallon – my favorite always and forever! Go watch his At Home Edition videos on YouTube. You can thank me later.

As I was saying, crazy times.

Quarantine came at a time – for me – when I really needed a pause. A breath. Funny how that happened. I wonder if others feel the same.

I just. Stopped. That’s what I’d been wanting to do for a long time. To just take a step back and simply be. Nowhere to be, nothing to do. (Besides keep my kids alive. Never getting away from that! And I would never want to.) I think a lot of us felt like we were on vacation the first couple days, right? For me, a mom of three under 8, that merely looked like a few extra minutes to scroll through my phone, a few extra minutes to do the cleaning and cooking, a few extra minutes to spoil my kids by actually playing with them uninterrupted. But that’s a lot for me; that’s Heaven on Earth.

I had been working part time. So I was in an interesting midway position between stay at home mom and working mom. When I first started working, I looked back on being a stay at home mom, about a month in, and realized, “You know what, being a stay at home mom was harder. I was more stressed as a stay at home mom because there were no consistent breaks. I always had to be “on”.” But then I thought, “Oh wait, well, I’m not working full time, though. If I were working full time, it would probably be a whole ‘nother story – constant rush, constant pull from both the work and home directions, constant stress, worry, guilt… (I did work full time for one year, but back when I only had one child. Anyway, I know everyone is different and has a different experience based on their personality and their circumstance.) But I was craving a lull. And I got it – in a twisted kind of way. God help us all.

Quarantine has reminded me of what really matters in life. (I know, I know – cliche of the year. As usual, I’m a day late and a dollar short.) But seriously, when sh*t hits the fan, when all the matter that used to be rapidly spinning all around you in a million pieces just freezes and floats silently for a while, you see clearly the things that your soul really wants and needs. I think mine are the same as everyone else’s: Family. Friends. And whatever grounds you, whatever you believe in. For me, it’s God. I know that in this life, we need money and… well, let me see now… all the other things I was about to list come from having money, so… I’ll stop there. Heh, shallow much? Eek. Am I wrong, though? So, back to it – I know we need money. But only because that money will allow us to provide for our loved ones, to protect and lavish the people we love. And then of course, we spend time on our passions and whatever makes our soul come alive. But we gotta stay dry and we gotta eat, right?

I had this surprising sensation one day when I went out for the first time after a very long time of being behind closed doors with the kids. I went out with my mask on to the drugstore to buy some Easter materials for an at home Egg Hunt – which they absolutely loved by the way. We did a second and third and fourth round! But while I was walking back to my car, the people I saw just strolling, just breathing – I felt drawn to them. I didn’t know any of them, but I felt close to them. I felt connected to them. I wanted to reach out and touch them. Because I wasn’t allowed to touch them, suddenly, I longed to. Like I was sensing what it would be like if I could never get close to a stranger again. It was as if everyone around me were being taken from me, and I had the urge to fight to keep them. I like being close to people – physically and emotionally. This sense that we are all one human family has been really magnified for me during this time.

I’ll leave you with one very profound parting wish: May you get out of this alive… and proceed to make lots and lots of sweet money!

Cheers! Love ya.

Foot

T is so obsessed with me, he fell asleep clinging to my foot last night.

Bahaha let me explain. Every night, I put all 3 kids to sleep at once in the same room. After about an hour of repeating orders to brush teeth and change, stay in the bedroom, and clear the toys off the bed; and yelling “That’s the LAST drink of water!” and “Stop pushing/climbing/talking” or whatever it may be, I turn off the light, W screams at me that he wants to do it, I turn it back on and let him turn it back off, and THEN! FINALLY! We start to settle.

Everyone wants to be next to me. They all want to hold my hand, they all want me to rub or pat them. W recently decided he also needs me to be sitting, not lying (Great, just what I need). If you can imagine….this is physically impossible!!! I have two sides! I have two hands! (I told T I’m going to ask Santa for 10 extra hands this Christmas).

T, being the oldest, is the most patient and cooperative at bedtime, thank God. I’m super grateful to him. He still asks me to be with him, but nicely, and he’s willing to wait. So, I have to keep reassuring him and tell him that I’m sorry, but he has to wait until either Y or W is asleep and then I’ll have a free hand for him to hold.

Welp! Last night, he couldn’t wait. I jokingly asked if he wanted to hold my foot. He grabbed it without batting an eye. Totally normal. He held it contentedly until he fell asleep. Ahaha really warmed my heart though. How sweet is he?

A solid 6

Eldest son: Umma, what does “a solid 6” mean?

Umma: Solid is kind of like “exactly”. For example, you can say a solid 6 hours. You slept a solid 6 hours.

Son: No, I mean PanPan said he’s a solid 6.

Umma: Huh? … Ohh… you can also kind of rate someone on a scale of 1 to 10. Rate how attractive and cool they are. 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest. 5 is in the middle, so medium attractive. So, PanPan is just a little more than medium.

Ace: Oh. Am I a 10?

Umma: *melts* Of course you are (hahaha…)