Peace

I had forgotten how sweet it is to share a cozy, head-on-chest afternoon nap with your littlest. ❤️🌎#andallwaswellintheworld #socialdistancing #backtobasics #wegotthis

Foot

T is so obsessed with me, he fell asleep clinging to my foot last night.

Bahaha let me explain. Every night, I put all 3 kids to sleep at once in the same room. After about an hour of repeating orders to brush teeth and change, stay in the bedroom, and clear the toys off the bed; and yelling “That’s the LAST drink of water!” and “Stop pushing/climbing/talking” or whatever it may be, I turn off the light, W screams at me that he wants to do it, I turn it back on and let him turn it back off, and THEN! FINALLY! We start to settle.

Everyone wants to be next to me. They all want to hold my hand, they all want me to rub or pat them. W recently decided he also needs me to be sitting, not lying (Great, just what I need). If you can imagine….this is physically impossible!!! I have two sides! I have two hands! (I told T I’m going to ask Santa for 10 extra hands this Christmas).

T, being the oldest, is the most patient and cooperative at bedtime, thank God. I’m super grateful to him. He still asks me to be with him, but nicely, and he’s willing to wait. So, I have to keep reassuring him and tell him that I’m sorry, but he has to wait until either Y or W is asleep and then I’ll have a free hand for him to hold.

Welp! Last night, he couldn’t wait. I jokingly asked if he wanted to hold my foot. He grabbed it without batting an eye. Totally normal. He held it contentedly until he fell asleep. Ahaha really warmed my heart though. How sweet is he?

A solid 6

Eldest son: Umma, what does “a solid 6” mean?

Umma: Solid is kind of like “exactly”. For example, you can say a solid 6 hours. You slept a solid 6 hours.

Son: No, I mean PanPan said he’s a solid 6.

Umma: Huh? … Ohh… you can also kind of rate someone on a scale of 1 to 10. Rate how attractive and cool they are. 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest. 5 is in the middle, so medium attractive. So, PanPan is just a little more than medium.

Ace: Oh. Am I a 10?

Umma: *melts* Of course you are (hahaha…)

Excitement

When I realize that one of my children has finally fallen asleep, my stomach makes the same nervous leap of joy that it used to make in high school when I saw my crush… What does that say? *insert crying laughing emoji* #whydoesn’twordpresshaveemojis

Emotional and Social “Firsts”

We put a ton of emphasis on children’s “firsts” but generally only the physical ones – first smile, first roll, first step. I think we should also be celebrating the emotional and social “firsts” – the first time he handed the toy in his hand to another child, the first time he stopped, and thought, and decided not to hit. The first time he looked at Mom for a moment, took in what she was feeling, and reacted to help and to serve.

These are just as meaningful. ❤

T said: “Umma, are you still tired?” I said “Yes”. He said, “You can go back to sleep. I’ll take care of W.” *melt*

Successful Momming Day

*Note* This is from the beginning of the Summer. Just never got around to finishing my draft. Working full time with 3 kids is a total CIRCUS!! #notimeforanythingever

There are days when I feel like I’m running on empty. I’m trying to keep going – the chores, the school drop offs, the breaking up of fights, the life lessons – because, well, I have to! It’s my ultimate responsibility in life. I try to stretch myself so much that I get to my breaking point and I snap at everything. I just yell and yell and I’m so emotional that I can’t parent properly. I can’t parent the way I want to, the way I know I should, and then at night when everyone is asleep, I feel guilt on top of guilt for it.

But every once in a while, days just go right. I have just a little more patience. My kids talk just a little softer and get along just a little longer. The sun shines a little brighter and the breeze blows at just the right times.

Today was one of those days. A friend and I spontaneously decided to schlep our 3 kids each to a nearby farm for strawberry picking. We were bold and daring. The open fields were calling. So many things could have gone wrong, but nothing really did. We found our way just fine, found a parking spot just fine, walked to the fields just fine, picked a thousand beautiful strawberries, took a thousand beautiful pictures. Everyone was smiling, eyes wide in wonder. I guess nature (and good friends!) will do that to you. Especially in this area, we need it more than we realize.

 

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We had lunch in a little picnic area where the 6 kids raced around and around in circles laughing their heads off. Then we visited the petting zoo. The kids loved watching the fuzzy bunnies hop around, bouncing into each other like fluffy snowballs. They giggled and trembled as the giant llamas hobbled over and ate pellets out of their hands with their funny, wobbly, lips.

I felt so good. I felt like, “Hey, wait a minute, I am a good mom. Look how happy my kids are. Look how they’re so content and just living this moment to its fullest in the glorious present.” I was patient and kind and poised during the whole excursion. This is the kind of day I want my kids to remember. That relaxed, smiling face is the face I want them to remember when they think back to their childhood.

And after a long, stressful week, now I’m just so at peace. Today was a successful Momming day. Virtual high five!!

Tell me about a Successful Momming or Dadding day you’ve had! 🙂

You Guys Would Tell Me If I Were Growing Into A Bitter Old Woman, Right?

So, I’ve been stressed. Like, really stressed. Feeling like I’m drowning, I can’t keep up with anything, snapping at my husband and 3 kids, angry at everyone (mostly myself). Last week, I was volunteering to run a Sunday morning young family service that involved making pancakes and I ended up setting off the church fire alarm. #Wow #Whyme #Everythingthatcangowrongwillgowrong. I think I’m going to have to blame my youngest. Through no fault of his own, he’s now in the stage where he can get around really well, he wants to get into EVERYTHING, and he’s FAST. So, I spend most of my time turning from the right to the left, bending down, standing up, and doing somersaults and side blocks on repeat. Side note: would have been manageable if my husband could have come with me, but he had to work, as people have to do.

Transitioning into working mom (though only part time) has been a huge challenge. I didn’t really realize it the first six weeks or so, but slowly, things started to catch up to me. And it was just a snowball. Everything started to slip: laundry piled up, dishes piled up, library books piled up, headaches piled up.

I realize I need to get organized if I’m going to survive this. I can’t wing things anymore (That was basically my mode of operation up until now). I have to really sit and think and plan and write down each and every step. I need a meal system, a cleaning system, a bathing system, a discipline system, a kids’ chores system, a clothing system, a shopping system, a phone call system, a meditation system (and while we’re at it, a medication system HA), a system for floor towels vs. table towels vs. kitchen towels vs. bathroom towels, a system for eating my kids’ leftovers (eyeroll), a system for not losing the work lunches I pack for myself deep into the abyss that is my work backpack, etc. etc. – you get the idea. Lord help me; if any veteran moms have any life hacks they can share, please, please, do, I beg of you! A couple of things I’ve learned: it’s ok to eat frozen food, it’s ok to send bottled water instead of refilling thermoses, kids need to do as much on their own as possible so Mom doesn’t lose her mind trying to be in six places at once. An example of that last one: I have on my list to buy small pitchers to fill with milk and water, so my two eldest can pour for themselves when they’re thirsty (which is a lot). I learned this trick from my job, actually (I work at a pre-school!). I mean it seems like it should be obvious…but I never thought of it. *Shrug. Also, I finally got myself a real full size broom and dustpan and mop and stopped with the cave woman style: on hands and knees with a tiny handheld broom and dustpan and wet towels. Life changer. What was I thinking??

I’m on a schedule now. Kids need to be up a certain time, fed a certain time, out the door a certain time; I need to be up/fed/out a certain time too. I have to be Captain Organized. I start today. Pray for me. Will let you know how it goes.

Silly Sleep

So…Y turned 4 in October… It is now April…nearly 6 months later. I’m finally forcing myself to finish this post. I mean, this is just embarrassing. What can I say? Uuuuhhhmmm….nothing, really. I have no excuse. Welp, no use whining about it! Here it is!

Silly sleep memories from Y’s third year of life:

That time she was sick and decided this was the most comfortable place for her to sleep. She pulled those chairs together herself. Whined and cried and couldn’t sleep any other way until she set this up. *Shrug. Girl knows what she needs.

And here she is snug as a bug in a rug with her pillow plastered onto her body. Anyone recognize our “dol chimdae”s? Traditional korean “rock beds”. Sounds like the worst idea ever, I know. But they’re a hot commodity to those traditional Koreans! Halmoni gifted it to us beaming with pride. Anyway, my kids will sleep anywhere; they don’t care.

That time she pulled her shirt up over her head and stuffed herself into a pillowcase…in the middle of the night…sleep-moving?? #ummmm

This girl and her pillowcase shenanigans. She hasn’t even grown out of them yet. She’s obsessed with them. I never appreciated the “That’s my pillowcase!” line in the “All About That Bass” parody by MyLifeSuckers (a positively accurate picture of motherhood, by the way) until Y started removing ALL THE PILLOWCASES IN SIGHT. Here she is, yet again, in a pillowcase. She had rolled herself off the bed onto the floor all the while managing to stay stuffed into the pillowcase alongside its resident pillow… (don’t mind the gray carpet stain. It’s paint from a great idea she had earlier in the day).

So, that’s my girl when she was 3! She really liked to sleep in all kinds of funny, contorted positions. This was one of her favorites- who knows why. She must be a yogi at heart. (We moved her to the floor by this point since she never stayed on the bed anyway.)

Ah, 3 year olds. Gotta love em.